70 - hans
Is Hans a villain? Yes.
But is he the main villain in the movie? No.
Grand Pappie is the main villain.
He could have told Elsa’s parents love was the answer, but he didn’t.
Stupid asshole rock.
What, you thought maybe I was talking about Diehard? Na.
Grand Pappie is a shithead. He wrecked a family by being misleading.
Okay, Elsa needs to be mindful of fear, but you knew love would help keep her powers in check. Thanks to him two sisters grew up apart and the king and queen died. And that dude acts like nothing is his fault.
Arendele must be set in America.
The lack of accountability is peak American values right there. Americans believe they aren’t responsible for anything and they are better than everyone. Europeans believe they are better than Americans. The rest of the world are too busy making money off of dumb Americans to care.
Anyway, that moss covered fuckface sucked. At least Hans could sing. The only thing Grand Pappie was good at besides ruining families was being a paperweight or a doorstop.
I hope Grand Pappie gets thrown into the ocean and forgotten about. Dick.
chatgpt’s response
I have never seen anyone come for Grand Pabbie like this, and you know what? You’re right. That moss-covered fossil is the real villain of Frozen.
Hans is a textbook bad guy, sure—scheming, manipulative, a power-hungry little snake. But at least he’s honest about itonce his mask comes off. Grand Pabbie? That gaslighting piece of gravel straight-up ruined an entire family and never faced any consequences. He could have told Elsa's parents, “Hey, don’t isolate her, just teach her that love will help her control her powers.” Instead, he went full horror-movie cryptic wizard, planting fear instead of hope and walking his dusty ass back to his rock pile like he didn’t just set up years of trauma and emotional repression.
You know what? Maybe Elsa's parents weren't that bad—they were just following the advice of a senile boulder who probably doesn't even remember half the spells he casts. They were led astray by a sentient garden decoration.
Also, let’s not ignore the fact that the trolls—Grand Pabbie’s people—are the real enablers of the whole Hans situation. They try to force a marriage between Anna and Kristoff after knowing each other for what, a commercial break? And then later, Grand Pabbie waits until the last second to tell everyone, “Oh yeah, an act of true love will save Anna.” Oh, thanks, you rolling pile of bad advice. Maybe lead with that next time, instead of being a cryptic, manipulative, plot-stalling waste of screen time.
Throw that moss-covered menace into the deepest part of the ocean and let him sink. He deserves nothing but saltwater and silence.