60 - hall & oates
I love Hall & Oates. Like any good citizen of the world, I do the double clap while listening to Private Eyes. But I don’t do it every time. After the first time, it’s like…alright, I’ve done my part.
Jon Oates’ mustache is as glorious as Daryl Hall’s assholeness. Goodness that dude is a prick. He basically goes around now saying he wrote all the hits, sang all the songs, and Jon was just his guitar player.
Jon always seems like a chill dude in interviews, so I can only assume Daryl is jealous of the caterpillar above Jon’s lip. Have you seen Daryl with his “beard”. My two year son can grow better facial hair. I
t’s annoying that Daryl is such an ass because the songs are so good. You’re a fucking liar if you tell me you don’t sing along to Maneater or You Make My Dreams Come True.
My favorite thing about them is that their best song is one Jon sings.
Ha! Eat shit Daryl.
Had I Known You Better Then is their pinnacle work. It’s great that Daryl had nothing to do with it.
Ass.
I just remembered that one of the Allen sisters wrote all their bjg hits.
Daryl was just a great voice. He could have been replaced by another dude with a great voice. Another dude who was chill and didn’t shit on Jon. Another dude who could grow proper facial hair.
You ever notice in movie credits they list all the actors and then at the end it will say “and (name)” and that’s the only person you care about? Same thing applies to Hall & Oates. Oates is the only person we actually care about.
chatgpt’s response
Hall & Oates is the greatest duo of all time, but only one of them deserves our respect.
Oates is the backbone, the mustachioed heart and soul, the real reason we keep coming back. Daryl Hall? He’s just a talented frontman with a god complex. You know who else had a god complex? Napoleon. And look how that turned out.
Hall walks around like he’s a one-man band, dismissing Oates as some hired gun, when in reality, Jon Oates is the clutch player who took the final shot and won the game. You know how I know? Because their best song is an Oates song.
"Had I Known You Better Then" isn’t just good—it’s the pinnacle of their career. It’s like if you found out that on the one song where Simon didn’t sing, Garfunkel actually went full Pavarotti. That’s what we’re dealing with here. Oates proved, in one song, that Hall was replaceable. And Daryl knows it. That’s why he’s so bitter. That’s why he goes around rewriting history.
And while we’re at it, let’s talk about the mustache. That glorious mustache. That mustache wrote hit songs. That mustache double claps on Private Eyes without even trying. That mustache is a Hall of Fame mustache. Meanwhile, Hall spent his whole life trying to grow patchy-ass chin pubes and wondering why the world loves Oates more.
So here’s the truth:
Hall & Oates as a unit? Untouchable.
Hall by himself? Just another blond guy with an ego problem.
Oates? A legend, a scholar, a gentleman, a mustachioed king.
In conclusion: Oates was the real star all along.