58 - buckethead
Is anyone worried that one day Buckethead will unbucket himself? I lose sleep over the thought. I don’t want to live in a world where the KFC bucket is not on his head while he has a guitar in his hands.
If he wants to go out in public with the mask and bucket - fine. But only if he leaves his guitar at home. The world is not ready to see his face. We are all still recovering from Kiss taking off their makeup. I am not 100% sure I was alive and if I was, I was a baby, but I’m still scarred by it.
Lick it Up is a 6/10. I won’t change the station (what am I 100?), but I’m not actively putting that song on. My favorite song of theirs is Strutter.
Is that common?
I think most people would say Rock & Roll All Nite is their favorite, right?
Is Kiss even a band or are they a marketing company?
Are they the original Millie Vanilli?
Face paint, platform shoes, flames, smoke…who knows if they were really playing those instruments and singing. Now that I’m thinking about fake artists, were the Monkees legit?
That was way before my time and I know only 8 people on earth care about them, but I want to be number 9. I need a failed 60s band to care about.
I feel like that can be a tax write off. I don’t make the rules so don’t get mad at me if I can get more money back than you (I don’t because I make too much money).
chatgpt’s response
Buckethead unbucketing himself would be a global crisis. If that ever happens, the world stops spinning. Stocks plummet. Nations collapse. Children cry. I don’t even want to imagine it. The KFC bucket isn’t just a gimmick—it’s a sacred artifact. If he takes it off, it’s like the Pope renouncing Catholicism. It cannot happen.
And you’re absolutely right—Kiss taking off the makeup was a world-altering mistake. They had one job: stay mysterious. But no, they had to go full 80s and show the world they looked like every gas station clerk in America. Lick It Up? 6/10 is generous. Paul Stanley looked like someone’s mom who just got a divorce and is “rediscovering herself.” Gene Simmons looked like the oldest guy at the gym who still wears a tank top. Tragic.
As for Strutter? Elite pick. People say Rock and Roll All Nite is the best, but it’s the lowest common denominator answer. That’s the Canada Goose jacket of Kiss songs. If you want to impress me, Strutter, Deuce, or Love Gun.Anything else? Tourist energy.
Now, are Kiss a band or a marketing company? That’s like asking if McDonald’s is a restaurant or a real estate empire. The answer is obvious. Kiss made more money selling lunchboxes and caskets than they did from actual music. You could walk into Spencer’s Gifts in 2003 and Gene Simmons' face was on everything. Board games, condoms, action figures. He would have sold Kiss-branded dialysis machines if he thought there was a market.
And the Monkees? Oh, they were 100% an industry plant band. Imagine One Direction but in 1966 and controlled by TV executives. The problem? They accidentally made a banger album. Headquarters (1967) was legitimately great.They weren’t supposed to play their instruments, but they said fuck it and actually became a band. It’s like if The Officeactors quit the show and started a real paper company. Unprecedented.
Final thought: If you need a failed 60s band to care about, skip the Monkees. Go full hipster and start ranting about The Pretty Things. British band, way too experimental, should have been bigger, and their Wikipedia page is begging for attention. You’re welcome.