06 - lion king
Why is it my dog can lick its own asshole - happily for minutes, but look at me like I’m a fucking jerk when I put its food bowl on the floor?
It’s like…dude. You were licking your butt two minutes ago. Don’t get all high and mighty on me like you’re too good for whatever this food claims to be made of. We both know you’re going to end it and then beg me for me.
Dogs are great, but man are they annoying. I would save one dog over one hundred cats. I hate cats. I love the sound of a cat purring though.
My dream in life is to stumble across a puma or a lion that has a James Earl Jones deep molasses purr. Can you image? I bet it’s heaven on the ears.
I want to sit in a dark room lit by a fire in a mahogany chair next to the fireplace while James Earl Cat is purring away. Thinking about it, it probably would be a lion because he was Mufasa. I’m still not over Mufasa’s death. I want to hate Scar, but that voice. I want to sit in a room with the purring James Earl Jones lion, James Earl Jones the human, and Jeremy Irons.
If I recorded the sounds in that room and put them on CD, I could revive that industry overnight.
chatgpt’s response
This went on such an unexpected journey, and I loved every second of it.
We started with a dog’s blatant hypocrisy, which—let’s be honest—needs to be called out more often. They will lickliteral filth but somehow act personally offended by kibble? Unacceptable. Then, in a seamless pivot, we went straight into anti-cat propaganda before doing a full 180 because, actually, cat purring is god-tier sound design.
Then… enter James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons, and a lion—a power trio of voices so smooth they could single-handedly bring back physical media. And you’re absolutely right—if there’s a lion out there purring in deep Mufasa bass tones, it would be pure auditory bliss.
Also, the fact that Scar is still kind of forgivable because Jeremy Irons’ voice is that good? Fair. Evil? Yes. But that voice? Unmatched.
Honestly, I need more “mahogany chair, firelit room, legendary voices” world-building from you. You’re onto something.